Month: October 2019

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I feel like all my blogs start like ‘hey guys disclaimer I’m going to write something now, I don’t actually do it myself, but it might be useful’.

Well whaddya know, off she goes on another one.

I bloody hate being the bigger person and I’m an awfully bad loser. Like, really bad. I cannot stand losing. Two bad traits to have.

Even if it’s against a kid, I just can’t let it slide. If I’d play a game with my little brother when he was younger (8 years between us), I’d happily make him cry if it meant I won. I also haven’t got a convincing ‘fake happiness’ face – well, my actual happiness face isn’t even convincing – so that adds another level to my ‘being a shit loser’ thing.

Again, probably one of those things I should have worked on but I’m trying to accept myself so might as well accept that, too.

My mum tells me I was always po-faced growing up. She said I’d be riding a merry go round and when all the other kids went past smiling and waving at their parents, I didn’t even bat an eyelid. Not even a glimmer of joy. Judging from my baby photos, it started around the age of 5. Before that I loved life. Flashed smiles left, right and centre, then one day just switched.

So, when it comes to people saying to me ‘you just need to be the bigger person’, I bloody struggle.

Why? Why do I? Why should I be the one to move on?

Oh yeah, because it’s probably causing me a lot more discontentment than it is them. Here I am stirring over it while they are probably 3 margs down in Revs without a care in the world.

Whether you’re trying to be the bigger person at work, at home or with your friends – it’s probably something that a lot of people find difficult. Admitting defeat or just letting something go isn’t easy.

You can feel like a bit of a doormat and depending on the severity of the situation, you might be backing down in something that you believe in (especially when you’re in the right, but let’s not start).

Why should you have to give in to someone who is more stubborn than you, just to make peace?

I’m torn. Because I fully believe if someone is being a dick then you should call them out. Why should someone who doesn’t deserve the respect have the satisfaction of people coddling to them and reinforcing their stupidity?

But sometimes it creates more problems than its worth. It’s hard to walk away from something you think is wrong and just, well, accept it.

I’m a pretty salty person. I push things further than they need to go and rarely back down. But will this just end up driving me to be an evil old lady who pops the football kids knock over my fence? Or will I just become a total pushover who lets people do what they want with no thought or repercussions of how it concerns others?

Time will tell.

People are always going to stir the pot. Someone will always cut in front of you in traffic. There will always be a friend who gets something they don’t deserve or a boss who takes credit for all your work*.

My thoughts – don’t let people tell you to be the bigger person. Decide what you want to be, choose what will make for the best outcome long term and always put yourself first.

Be selfish.

M x

*Not a direct attack on Will

So, I’ve been speaking to a few candidates recently who have mentioned the dreaded ‘R’ word – redundancy.  There seems to be a bit of a wave of this at the moment.  I don’t know if it is due to the specific sectors I deal with, uncertainty over Brexit, the time of year, or a combination of all these factors plus some other ones thrown in for good measure.

The other dreaded ‘R’ word – ‘restructure’ seems to be cropping up a lot as well which can subsequently lead on to redundancy.  A typical case scenario, which puts this in perspective, is where a large company buys out and takes over another generally smaller one.  They will probably come in with a certain message to the existing employees – “your jobs are safe and there is nothing to worry about”.  Fast forward 6 to 12 months and the employees are sat in front of their line manager and an HR representative discussing what sort of redundancy package they’re going to get.  They’ve become victims of restructuring.  Due to the take-over, roles have become duplicated, processes have become obsolete and work has been shifted to another site 200 miles away.

Let’s face it, the situation isn’t nice and I can tell you that from first-hand experience.  However, what’s vitally important at this stage is ‘what you do next’.  I’ve compiled a shortlist, that isn’t necessarily in any kind of order, but can hopefully be of some help:

–  Accept it – the decision to make you redundant has been made and rest assured you’re not alone – it is nothing to be ashamed of.

– Speak to friends and family – you’ll need a strong support network around you.  Use them as a sounding board and talk to them about similar experiences they have gone through.  Don’t suffer in silence.

– Be proactive – it’s all about what you do next.  Update your CV and Linkedin profile and make them as polished as possible.  Let employers and recruiters know you’re available through job boards and social media – you’ll be surprised at how many people want to help – even if it is for their own self-benefit, as well as yours.

– Don’t rush it – hopefully, your redundancy period will allow you enough time to seek out your next career move with as little financial impact as possible.  There is the temptation to take any job offer that comes your way, but make sure it is the right move for you as you don’t want to be back to square one a few months down the line.

– Be resilient – the job-seeking process can be laborious and full of highs and lows.  Stick at it and you will get there!

Anyway, I hope the above has given some of you going through similar experiences a modicum of reassurance.  Remember we’re always here to listen, and while I cannot promise I will place in a job, I can certainly promise that I will help you in whatever way I can!

 

 

 

London… what’s all the fuss about?

Average Premier League teams, everyone rushing everywhere and having people’s armpits / bags in your face on the tube.

In spite of the above I really enjoy London, but only for a day or two to be completely honest.

It’s one of those places that if you know where to go or have been given recommendations, then it’s great. If you don’t then you end up walking round aimlessly for hours, ending up in a bar similar to that at home… and what’s the point in that?

One of my favourite places in London is probably the Brazilian restaurant I’ve now been to about 5 times. They bring meat to your table every few minutes, its all you can eat and there are so many options. I mean who even knew steak wrapped in bacon was a thing… what an absolute game-changer; I now have this about once a week for breakfast (yes, steak for breakfast is the one, you’re welcome!).

I always visit Alexandra Palace around Christmas time for the darts, although I don’t really care much for the darts anymore as its quite boring nowadays. I now purely go for the massive session that goes with it. Apparently I’m going as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle this year; I think I’ll be Raphael for those interested, but only because Donatello is taken.

I’m actually in London this weekend and noticed there’s a chocolate cocktail bar not too far from the hotel we’re staying at, so I’m definitely checking this out as, you’re genuinely lucky if you can get a Jaeger Bomb around these parts on a Saturday night!

My mate was telling me about a secret pub crawl he went on a few months ago in London, which sounds incredible.

To enter secret bars, he had to give the waiter a secret code in an American Diner, and then was taken through a fridge door; entering a suit shop where you go through a wardrobe door and shaking a golden hand at the back of a huge hotel foyer.

If anyone has any recommendations of hidden gems like these, it would be greatly appreciated.

I’m off now for a weekend of golf, the theatre, steak, great company and a fair amount of cocktails and beers.

Have a great weekend whatever you are up to (apologies for mentioning the weekend a day early).

Danny B

Acceptance is addictive and in my opinion a lot of us are addicts. This may have always been true, but instant gratification on social media platforms means getting our acceptance fix is easier than ever.

If you think about the stages of your life there are many moments where you wanted to be accepted. Becoming part of a friendship group, being picked for a sports team for the first time, or being made a job offer, are all notable examples. Now there are levels to this and some moments of acceptance are more profound than others. The lower levels tend to come in the form of ‘likes’ from a comment or post you’ve put on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter etc. At the opposite end of the spectrum you’ve got the big stuff; getting a ‘yes’ to a marriage proposal falls into this category, (probably…..for some).

No doubt there will be a scientific reason behind our need for acceptance. In my head, it’ll be something to do with an inherent biological need to feel secure and safe in our surroundings. If true there’s no need to feel guilty about wanting to feel accepted, after all should we go against the grain of nature just to try and be different? In my view no, as you will be fighting an unnecessary battle that will potentially lead to alienating yourself from a lot of great things in life.

This does come with a health warning though as the seemingly trivial subject matter of being addicted to acceptance can ultimately turn into an obsession, which can have very negative implications on your mental wellbeing.

So, while I’m not saying in any way that addiction is a good thing, it is fine to have somewhat of a desire to be accepted. Surely it’s preferable to being a lone wolf in the long run.

I’ve talked about this a bit lately so I promise this will be the last you hear about if from me in a while – but I completed a half marathon on Sunday for an amazing charity, SSNAP.

We’ve raised £1,500 so far and I’m still buzzing about this to be honest.

The atmosphere was decent, despite a little bit of rain before the start. But then it happened… I was about 4 strides in and the heavens opened with what can only be described as monsoon like weather, of course it bloody did! In fairness, this just added to the atmosphere but it did feel like I was carrying an extra stone in weight around with me, which was not ideal.

The run itself was a hard slog and is definitely not something I’m rushing to do again anytime soon. I crossed the line with someone I befriended with about a mile to go, which really helped and before I knew it I was drying out, eating steak and absolutely loving life again!

Since then, I’ve had a massive blow out – including, but not limited to Nando’s, visiting the colonel, Maccy D’s, Greggs and the Pie Pub – for anyone in and around the Banbury area, I cannot recommend this place enough.

And with the two big rugby matches tomorrow followed by Liverpool v Man Utd on Sunday, it’s fair to say this blow out will probably last until Sunday.

My legs ached for a few days but now seem back to “normal”, so its back to the gym tonight to get myself back into a good routine.

As you can probably tell I definitely haven’t caught the bug for running and still don’t really enjoy it; I’ll probably just continue to use it to get to places a little bit quicker, like the car when its raining, or to the bar as you see a group of 20 people about to walk in.

With this in mind, I’m now beginning to look forward and need a new challenge to help me focus in the gym; so if you have any suggestions please let me know as I could do with some inspiration.

Have an awesome weekend!

Danny B

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“You need to find the right balance”

How do I know what the right balance is? Is it that I feel calmer, more rested? Or do I feel less rested, because I’m doing more and going out? What is it I need? Who bloody knows.

Equal parts of all, I suppose. But there’s no point asking because balance to me, isn’t balance to you. And balance to me this week absolutely isn’t what I needed last.

Last week was kinda shitty. What I needed was staying in most nights and only pushing myself to go for dinner at my friends one evening. I also went to IKEA which, on a Sunday, takes another kind of mindset altogether – but hey, meatballs are meatballs and that lingonberry jam can pull even the saltiest of people out a funk. Especially now it’s on a DIY pump at the end of the line. My plate was like a sea of red sweet lumpy happiness.

This week I feel like my balance bar is set a little higher.

No, I still haven’t done a food shop and yes, it is Thursday, but an impromptu trip to London to see the queen Ariana meant I could have Nando’s halloumi for dinner so who cares?

That’s the kind of balance I’m happy to work with. But to be fair, I had 4 Aldi fishcakes in the freezer and more mushrooms than I could shake a stick at. It’s kept me going until now, but I reckon if I have another garlic mushroom this week then that balance is going to be a mountain of salt and pepper chicken, chips and spring rolls all weekend.

I think finding balance is something I’m not too good at. How can anyone expect to juggle working full time, socialising with your friends and family, traveling, self-improvement, keeping your dog alive and finding that ever-elusive time to pamper yourself and unwind?

There’s only 24 hours in our day and for a third of them our eyes are shut. Hardly going to get the food shop done then, am I?

I haven’t got the capacity to organise a perfectly balanced day, let alone a balanced week. We can’t meticulously plan our time and have everything tick like clockwork. Things go wrong, things change.

It’s probably a fairer assumption that you can balance your expectations better than your life.

Knowing some weeks that you’ll be stressed and feel like everything is going too fast. Some weeks you’ll not want to do anything, and you’ll wear bobbly tracksuit bottoms on the sofa and eat pizza. And some weeks, you’ll feel like you’ve totally got all your shit together and think “ahh, so this is balance”. Then wave goodbye to it because it’s a lie and it doesn’t exist.

All you can do it your best.

I don’t think there is a perfect balance and all you can do is go with the flow, take yourself out of situations if in that moment you’re not feeling it, and if you want to go out 4 nights on the trot and feel like crap on a busy Sunday… absolutely bloody do it.

M x

I don’t pretend to be a master of the English language, but I do love a good ‘saying’ and there’s plenty of them out there.  Here are a select few which I use on a regular basis and some that are a bit odd:

– ‘A bad workman always blames his tools’ – I’ve done this on many an occasion, especially when doing DIY around the house.

– ‘A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush’ – Errrr….not really sure what that means – potentially that you should hold on to what you have and not risk it for greater reward???

– ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder’ – yeah, but it depends on how long you’re talking about, my other half loves it when I bugger off for a few hours.

– ‘A cat has nine lives’ – not the ones I’ve had.

– ‘A chain is only as strong as its weakest link’ – Teamwork people.

– ‘Actions speak louder than words’ – be a doer and stop talking so much – I probably should take my own advice here.

– ‘A drowning man will clutch at a straw’ – not an issue there due to the amount of plastic straws in the ocean.

Language is ever-evolving and new words and sayings enter into speech on a daily basis.  Added to this the way in which we communicate this language through nuances such as dialect, colloquialisms and accents, then you’ve got a fascinating blend.

At OX Seven we try and communicate in a way that promotes engagement in order to open up a dialogue with others.  Our job adverts are a prime example of this, so please feel free to have a perusal through them on our website (make sure you do this).

So as a takeaway from this have a think about how you use language, the words you use, the way in which you deliver them and your audience – I think there’s merit in it.

 

There aren’t too many things I enjoy more than being involved in a really meaty debate.

You know, those ones that go on for a good 15minutes, where multiple people in the office are chipping in.

Everyone who walks past seems to get caught up in the conversation, causing all kinds of office carnage.

It results in Hermione* from the finance department (who’s currently googling stats to support her argument) being called into the office by her line manager for a disciplinary.

She’s been away from her desk for 45minutes and has been left 15 voicemails in this time.

She tells her line manager the reason why she went AWOL, who asks who was talking about it.

This sparks her line managers interest, so they both come back and join in…

 

I know what you’re thinking… ‘I wish I worked at OX Seven’

 

I’m not talking Brexit, or anything actually worth discussing.

I’m on about controversial, life-changing discussions, like:

 

Would you rather the football club you support win the league, or your country win the World Cup.

OR

Do you put your milk in the bowl and then put the cereal in after, or put your cereal in before the milk?

(if you went for option A on any of these, please, please stop reading)

 

If I ever run my own business, I’ll make sure I ask something similar during the hiring process. You really can find out a lot about a person from such simple questions.

If you’d have asked a generic question such as ‘Why should we hire you’, I’m sure you’ll get just as much anyway. ‘Hardworking, driven, motivated, and a good team player’ doesn’t really tell us much, I’m afraid.

There are times when other people’s opinions literally blow my mind.

If England won the World Cup, it would be absolutely mental. Proper mental. A national phenomenon. The country would go mad. People that don’t even LIKE football, or know absolutely ANYTHING about football (forget the offside rule) get well amongst it, that’s how mental it is – but not everyone agrees with me.

I cannot believe it – maybe they do it to wind me up? but.. not everyone is the same.

We see things in different ways, we act and feel in different ways. Different experiences, different upbringings. Different thoughts.

So, a note (A4 sized) to self: Get better at understanding where other people are coming from. Otherwise, you may well get yourself into a bit of a pickle, Mr Blossom.

*Harry Potter character name used to protect confidentiality.

 

 

 

 

 

 

At the risk of sounding really old, the youth of today are really impressive.

I’ve been lucky enough to spend time at both my old sixth form and a university in the last week, meeting and interviewing students.

At the sixth form, I was doing mock interviews with year 13’s. One of them was telling me about the job they do 4 nights a week, plus both Saturday’s and Sunday’s, on top of their A Levels.

She also has a plan to take over the business she is working for within 5 years and had an agreement in place with the current owner to do so; she was 17… 17!

When I was 17, I was wearing a suit to the pub on a Friday night, hoping not to get kicked out and drinking as much as I could as quickly as I could before I did.

I had no idea what I wanted to do and therefore when I was looking around Uni’s, the most important thing for me was the nightlife. I’m sure loads of students are doing the same now, but it seems to me that they really have their heads screwed on in comparison to me at that age.

At the careers day at Warwick Uni yesterday, it was truly impressive how many students really knew what they wanted to do, they asked fantastic questions (some of which were very challenging to answer), and were so engaging and mature – again I am comparing them to me and my friends at that age (sorry to any of my school mates reading this…).

So in summary, I’m getting old now, today’s students are really impressive and I know a lot of people I’ve met over the last couple of weeks will go really far in life.

Have an awesome weekend, whatever you get up to.

Danny B