Dear Mr Taximan,

With it being World Mental Health Day yesterday (and having the rudest man call and then hang up on me after 10 painful minutes of swearing about his staff and how useless they all are), it got me thinking about the way we talk to people we don’t know. This may be a long one, grab a cuppa.

Every day I call businesses who I genuinely would love to work with. Being a 360 Recruitment Consultant, you don’t have the luxury of poor little Tom in the corner taking all the rejections on the chin and watching the light in his eyes slowly burn out. You’ve got to grin and bear it yourself, trying to graciously explain why you aren’t like the 100 other agencies who have called up this morning and why you’re worth meeting. It’s hard. Really hard. One of those “never meet your idols” kind of things. Sure they may look glitzy on their website, but it’s ghost-written by someone who has never met the MD who in fact is an absolute ***, and ruins your images of the staff waltzing around the office, holding hands and baking cookies together on their days off.

I’m not from a sales background and to be honest, I’m not sure I’d ever manage the constant rejection they must face. Imagine having to make 300 calls all day every day, smiling to put on your best and least offensive “sorry it’s me again please don’t hang up” phone voice and getting back “I’m going to wait outside your office, follow you home and kill you if you call back”. I know, right?

When I call a business, I’ve done my research on them, decided if they’re somewhere I’d be happy to work with and have a genuine reason to call. I’ve found out who the best person is to talk to so to avoid getting on 3 people’s nerves when diverting my call and googled how to pronounce your name (who knew there was so many ways to spell Owen).

What I’m offering is literally going to make your life easier. I’m not calling because I want to ruin your day, waste your time or sell you pet insurance for your tortoise who actually disappeared in your back garden 2 months ago and end up bringing back sad memories of happier times. What I do is a benefit for your company, so when you answer the phone and speak to me as if I’ve just ran in your office and pushed Brenda from Accounts down the stairs, it’s 10/10 deflating. Sure there’s a tonne of people who are lovely and make up for the handful of meanies, but it still takes a certain person to brush it off.

Some guys and girls don’t have the luxury of a clear and stable mindset. People are battling, avoiding things and sinking further every day without a stranger telling them they’re worthless and to get a real job. I know this isn’t reeeeally what recruiters deal with in their rebuttals, but we’re sweeping and generalising here.

So, when you call me up demanding taxi drivers, slapping your mouth on whatever it is you’re eating down the other end of the line, I will be nice to you. I try really hard to ignore how rude you are about your staff and that you’re speaking to me like I’m here to do you a favour. Just because you can’t speak to anyone with an ounce of respect, why should I stoop and tell you exactly what’s going through my mind (when I can just be so unhelpful that you hang up on me). Even if I supplied drivers, I’d never put anyone forward to you and risk someone working for an absolute tool bag.

Moral of the story is, don’t be a dick. You may make it onto the companies annual Christmas cassette of rudest phone calls 2018, and that is not a place you want to be. provide advice and support to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem. Things won’t go your way, people will speak to you like you’re the least important person in the world but hey, you do you and keep on calling.

If you need 10 minutes in your call time KPIs to have a chat about dogs because it’s all a bit much, my number is 01608 670533 and I’m free pretty much whenever.

M x

Adam Williams

Technical & Engineering Consultant

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