It’s a cracker!
There’s plenty of stuff to look forward to at Christmas. One thing I like in particular is pulling a cracker (not a euphemism), trying to put the paper crown on my oversized head, playing about with the shit gift inside, and reading some of the worst jokes ever written – no doubt composed by a bunch of middle-aged men who dig dad jokes.
Here’s a sample of some absolute crackers, many of which I’ll probably steal and pass off as my own:
What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 25 days!
Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ‘ho ho ho’!
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claus-trophobia!
What is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!
What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? Stick with me and we’ll go places!
Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer!
Why don’t you ever see Santa in hospital? Because he has private elf care!
You’re probably groaning in despair at the quality of these, but at least it’s a bit of light relief (maybe).
Anyway, have a great Christmas and see you on the other side.
Technical & Engineering Consultant